March madness: Microsoft's terrible month of Windows and Office patches

On Tuesday, March 14, Microsoft released a big crop of patches for every version of Office since 2007 and every version of Windows since Vista. Many of those patches are broken. We’re only beginning to document the fallout.
Recall that Microsoft officially cancelled Patch Tuesday in February. There were a couple of updates for Win 8.1 and Win 10 to incorporate Adobe’s Flash fixes into Internet Explorer 11, but other than a handful of tiny, ancillary patches, the automatic update well ran dry in February. I still haven’t heard why the patches stopped — Dan Goodin at Ars Technica has a well-reasoned rant.
This month, the problem bucket runneth over.
The day after, we started seeing reports about a handful of Windows patches that break Microsoft’s Dynamics CRM 2011 and CRM 2013 OnPremises. Installing any of these security patches causes severe problems with formatting certain CRM reports: